Life

Have you ever just woken up and realized life isn't anything like you had invisioned?

I'm having one of those moments right now. I'm not sad or angry about it, but just mostly taking some time to reflect on where I've been, what I've gone through, and where I want to go. Really just analyzing how I've been shaped as a person, a mother, and a woman. 15 years ago I was just a girl with eyes full of possibilities for my future, undecided on my path but I had some idyllic dream of how my adult life would be. Now although everything has changed and my world has structure and shape I can't help but feel like I've been sidetracked and need to make some additional positive changes. I've always felt strongly about shaping your own destiny. We can't always change our experiences but we can choose how we react to them and what we learn from each stage in life. I hope I would have made that 15 year old me proud. As for right now, I'm happy in most aspects of my life. I'd be lying if I said there weren't areas I'd like to change or improve. But it really all comes down to the point of what I'm going to do about it. Just writing my thoughts out gives me some clarity but there's more that I need to do. I'd like this post to end on a high note with some lesson or tip for someone going through but I honestly don't have it in me. The feeling of feeling lost just walking trough life with a mile long to do list and no compass to guide you through your journey just seems unfair. I'm going to reflect on this for a while. Let it simmer and pray on it. Things will look clearer in the morning.

Good night.