You are not everyone's cup of tea ☕️

It's no secret I have a strong personality. I'm loud, I laugh too much, I love too hard, and I need to joke around more than the average person. I've come to terms with the fact that you will either love me or hate me and there is no in between. I used to really struggle with that and beat myself up mentally if someone thought the sun didn't shine out of my ass. I'd overanalyze our interactions to see if there was something I did or said to make someone dislike me, it just wasn't healthy. Over the years I had gotten better about it, but recently something happened and the feelings were brought back tenfold. I just couldn't shake them off no matter what I did. I thought about it, obsessed over it, talked it to death but I just couldn't make it go away.

I realize now that some people and I will never be friends and that is ok. I cannot hold myself accountable for the actions of others. If I am not someone who they want to be apart of their life then so be it. Some people are happy smiling to your face and talking about you behind your back and that is on them.

I can't control everything in my life but I can control my outlook and how I respond to things when they happen. Will letting my hurt show them anything? It will only show them that they had that much power and control over my emotions. So I owe it to myself to put my big girl panties on and embrace who I am without shame.

I am Alexandra. I am who I am and I will not apologize for it. I am loud, crazy, and funny even at innapropriate times but I will love you hard, cherish your friendship, and remain loyal to my friends and family. It may have taken me a little longer than it should have to realize this and reconcile these feelings within myself, but I'm glad I was able to experience these things. This last year has been full of ups, downs, and bass ackwards nonsense but I've learned to embrace what life has thrown at me. I hope that if you have these feelings too you'll look in the mirror and see how amazing you really are too. Never let the opinions of others dictate how you see yourself. God made you piece by piece and he doesn't make mistakes. So embrace who you are - be you - live the life you've been given to fullest and OWN THAT SHIT! Because we've only been given so many trips around the sun and those people who live to weigh you down are powerless without you! So do not continue to feed them through your negative emotions. Starve them and feed your soul what it needs - self love and acceptance ❤